Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize