in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
