awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
