god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We talked him into tasing himself.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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