he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
