dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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