Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize