When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
