too bad you live with your parents still
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize