I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
