yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
