Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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