One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
