We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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