Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
