so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
