Cold hands, warm shart.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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