Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
