Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
