I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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