so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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