I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
