Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
