I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
