just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
