Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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