pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she pinky promised me she was 18
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
