Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
