i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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