The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
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