You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
