If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
