Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
