did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
