take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
