You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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