i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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