sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
