Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
