i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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