dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize