Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
