The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
