If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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