U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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