You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
