i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
