id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
