You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
how drunk are you?
Several
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
