I wish I could teleport
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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