Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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