yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
