I feel like abortions should bother me more
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
