spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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