wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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