I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
