I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
